


Wanted

by bonjourmarlene



Category: Little Mix (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Childhood Trauma, F/F, Mental Illness, and perrie meets jade whom she loved in high school, and she hears voices, and they're looking for a mass murderer, jade has nightmares, perrie is leigh's co-worker, they're police officers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-18 07:51:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1420369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonjourmarlene/pseuds/bonjourmarlene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Perrie Edwards and her partner Leigh-Anne Pinnock are trying to catch the country’s number one murderer. Whoever it is, they have been killing men all over the country for the past couple of years, and it drives Perrie crazy that she can’t manage to capture the murderer. </p>
<p>It’s convenient that her mind is occupied because Jade Thirlwall comes back into her life. She’s been her high school love, but they have never dated because Perrie had been too afraid to come near her. But now things are different… Perrie is stronger and more self confident, while Jade struggles with nightmares.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on Tumblr already but I just edited it all and decided on a new ending (which I like better now) so I thought I'd post it here too, especially since there is barely any Jerrie Fanfiction on ao3 *sigh*
> 
> I hope you enjoy what you're reading and I hope you don't stop midway through :D x

_Click._

A smile spread across the girl’s face as the door squeaked open a millimetre. She looked around, checking if anyone was watching and after she was sure, she was completely alone, she opened the door a little more, pushing herself through the tiny entrance.

Inside the room, she looked around but she could hardly see anything since it was too dark inside the room. The smile across her face didn’t fade as she walked a little farther. “Who’s there?!” A frightened manly voice asked.

The girl suppressed a giggle as she felt the gun pressing against her back. “Shouldn’t you know?” She asked in a baby-voice without turning around. She blinked with bug eyes and pursed her lips.

Suddenly her hand moved to her back, pushing the gun away. A shot got fired and hit the wall, creating a hole big enough so a small person would fit it. She looked at the man, her fists raised in mid air as she tilted her head to the side, looking at him challenging. “Hello there,” she said innocently.

“Wh-who are you?!” The man asked. Fear was written all over his face and his hands raised in the air, showing he was giving up.

“Oh, I guess you know exactly who I am,” she smiled and blew a kiss.

The man looked at her shocked. “A-Amelia?” He asked whispering. “P-please, take what you want but leave me alone, I won’t tell the police.”

She sighed and looked at him with a creepy smile. “Oh, how I wish I could trust you.” She giggled and grabbed the gun. In the corner of her eye she saw the man running towards her. She ducked, kicking her feet forward and in the next second the man lay on the floor in front of her. “See, I knew what you would do. You can never trust a man… sad, isn’t it?” She shrugged and she went on her knees, grabbing his chin and forcing him to look her in the eyes. “That’s what you get,” she smiled sweetly before her hand got hold of the gun, her finger at the trigger. “Good night, sweetie.” She hummed before she pulled the trigger. 

...

_“Last night it happened again – in a small grocery shop in Manchester was a corpse found. Someone must have broken in and caught the owner by surprise. Nothing was stolen, neither food nor money. The ambulance couldn’t do anything for the poor man since he got shot right into the head. The police thinks it must have been someone he knew or else he or she wouldn’t have been able to shoot him in the head from a distance of not even one inch. The cameras have been manipulated because the tape was black in the time the man got killed.”_

The girl growled, switching off the TV. Someone knocked on her door, causing the young woman to jump in her seat. “Come on in,” she muttered and put away the remote, turning in her chair to look at the door.

It opened and a short girl with black hair entered the door. “Hey Perrie,” she smiled and put two cups of coffee on her table. “What’s up?”

“I don’t know,” the woman with the blonde hair muttered and sighed. She grabbed the cup and took a sip of the coffee before she put it back onto the table, sucking in some air. “Damn,” she muttered, “that was hot.”

“Sorry,” the black haired girl chuckled with a sorry planted on her face. “But what do you mean by ‘I don’t know’?” She asked again, looking at her curiously.

She sighed and shook her head. “It’s these murders,” she muttered, “I am on this person’s heels for how long… half a year? And I still have no clue who the hell he or she is or why she kills. These men don’t have anything in common, they live in different parts of the country, they went to different schools, some are white, some are black, some are Indian and some are from… I don’t even know all their ethnicities. The only thing they have in common is that those are men. I don’t know what to do, Leigh-Anne. This person is too good for me.”

The black haired girl shook her head. “No, they’re not,” she smiled reassuringly. “I guess you will catch them, no matter who they are. I know you; so far you’ve caught everyone.”

Perrie sighed and nodded, getting up from her seat. “It’s been six months though… I really want to get this damn person for killing those innocent men. Why does he do it?” She threw her hands in the air, not looking at the other policewoman. “Simply because she likes killing? I mean, even Jack the Ripper’s victims had something in common, apart from the fact that they all were women.”

“I know,” Leigh-Anne murmured. “See, Manchester isn’t so far away from here. We could drive there and take a look ourselves? Maybe we’ll get him that way.”

“Don’t say he,” Perrie corrected her, “because it could be a woman too. Don’t become sexist.”

“Ha-ha,” Leigh said sarcastically, “as if I wouldn’t be confronted with sexist comments every day.”

“That’s exactly what I am talking about, Pinnock. If we can be the number one in the police, a woman can become the number one on our wanted list.”

...

“Good evening, I am special agent Edwards and this is my partner special agent Pinnock,” the blonde woman said and got out her ID. “We are here because of the Henrikson-case.”

The woman in the white costume pulled away her hood to reveal her long, curly brown hair. “My name is Jesy Nelson. Nice to meet you.”

Perrie and Leigh nodded, putting away their IDs. “Same to you,” the black haired girl nodded. “So, what can you tell us… apart from what we can see.”

Around them lay broken cans but just around the area where they must have found the corps – obviously a fight between the now dead man and the escapee. The dead body had been removed by now but there was a frame on the floor. “Didn’t look much comfortable,” Leigh muttered.

“Yeah…” Jesy nodded and looked at the frame, “but I guess he didn’t mind anymore since he must’ve been dead right away.”

The two other women nodded and sighed. “Do you have any traces…? Like, fingerprints or anything? Something to read the DNA?”

Jesy sighed sadly and shook her head. “No, I’m actually really sorry… But this person is some pro.”

“I know,” Perrie growled and looked around in the shop. “I’m trying to catch them for a while now… whoever it is, they are killing men all over the world and so far we have no idea why they do it or after what pattern they do it. So, if you’ve found _anything_ , please let us know.”

The brown haired girl nodded. “If I had something, I would tell you.”

“This is so frustrating…” The blue eyed special agent mumbled. “Wherever I go, they are always gone already. I wish… I would have only one thing to hold onto.”

“We could ask family and friends,” Leigh-Anne suggested and then she turned to Jesy. “Can we have their addresses and stuff? It’d be really important.”

The brown haired girl nodded and walked away. “Come here,” the black haired girl muttered and hugged Perrie tightly. She wished she could tell her how she felt about her but that wouldn’t work because of two reasons… one, because Perrie would never return those feelings and two, because they worked in a job where relationships between two partners simply were forbidden. Even if Perrie returned those feelings, they’d never be allowed to be together as long as they worked together. It was… pretty frustrating. “We can solve this case together, okay? We will get them.”

The blonde nodded and they pulled away, just in time before Jesy returned. “Listen, I was pretty close to James… I meant, Mr Henrikson. If you find anything, please let me know. He was a really nice man who has made a few mistakes, but he didn’t deserve this.”

“Wait, what do you mean by that?” Perrie asked confused and looked up from the papers.

“Well… he was a, um… he liked the ladies, if you understand what I mean.”

Leigh-Anne’s brows furrowed. “What does that mean? Did he, you know, did he sleep with women and then dumped them?”

“Basically, yes,” Jesy said nodding. “He told them how much he loved them, how much he adored them and all these things just to ‘nail them’ and the next day you could already see him with another heartbroken girl. I mean, I was a close friend to him but I never let him have his way, if you understand what I mean. I guess I could just stand it and after a while he didn’t try it with me anymore.” She shrugged and sighed, wiping away her tears. “We were really good friends and no matter who the fuck killed him, I hope you can get them and arrest them for the rest of their life.”

“We’re trying,” Leigh smiled reassuringly and then they said their goodbyes.

“We should check the previous victims’ behaviour towards women too,” the blonde muttered and Leigh looked at her confused. “We might have found our pattern.”

...

“So, what’s your name, love?” The man slurred and put the bottle to his mouth, taking a sip of his sixth beer.

“Amelia,” the girl smiled and pulled a lock of her purple hair around her index finger. “And yours?”

“I am Jonathan, but for you…” He smiled and showed his teeth, “… I am Johnny. You look so beautiful and you’re so young… what are you doing here in the big city all alone?”

She shrugged, the smile not leaving her face. “I have never been to London before so I thought I might check it out. You know… my boyfriend just left me.” She sighed, now the smile on her face fading.

“His loss, I’d say,” Johnny slurred and put away his beer. “You’re so pretty and beautiful and you seem so smart. You deserve better than him.”

She looked up at him, tears shining in her eyes. “Y-you think so?”

Johnny nodded. “Want to go over to mine? I want to show you how much you’re worth it.” She nodded, he put a few pound on the table and grabbed her hand, leading her outside to his car. He opened up the door for her and the moment she sat in the car, she put her hands into her lap, looking around frightened. Jonathan got in too and pressed his lips to hers. The scent and taste of alcohol lingered on his lips, on his face and on his entire body. Nonetheless did a low moan escape her lips and his hand moved from her hips upwards beneath her shirt.

Her hand moved to his front area, palming him through the rough fabric of his jeans. “Do you do this every girl?” She asked, her voice broken with tears.

“No,” he said with a shy smile. He looked into her eyes and pushed a stroke, which had fallen into her face, back behind her ear. “Only you… because you’re such an amazing girl. You deserve the best.”

“And you are the best?” She asked, hiccupping.

“If you want me too,” he smiled and leant forward to kiss her again. He stopped in his moves, his eyes becoming huge and his breath caught in his throat. “What-?” He gasped, looking down at his stomach. Amelia’s hands were firmly holding onto the grip of a knife, whose blade stuck in his guts.

“I am no innocent little heartbroken girl,” she said sweetly. “And I can tell when a douchebag of a filthy man is lying to me. And I don’t like that.” She blinked a few times, her lips forming a sweet innocent smile.

“Why?” He choked out, blood spluttering onto her shirt.

“Because you were a nasty boy. I don’t like it when people lie to me. Don’t you know that?” She asked and turned the blade inside his guts, causing the man to groan in pain. His eyes rolled back into their holes and she smiled slightly. His heart stopped beating and his chest didn’t raise and fall anymore, showing her he was dead now. “I’m sorry but I need to go now… And please don’t tell my daddy I was here, okay?” She turned the knife again before pulling it out and grabbing a tissue out of her jacket’s pocket to wrap the knife into. She put the knife into her jacket and grabbed another one, grabbing the door-handle. She pulled the door open and got out of the car, and hurried towards the quiet river, which was right next to the pub. She threw the knife in there before she walked back inside and on the toilet. She sat down and peed before walking over to the sink and splashing water in her face before she sighed heavily.

She walked outside towards the car and opened the door and as the man fell out of the car, his chest bloody, she let out an ear piercing scream.

Some people ran towards her, asking her what was wrong. “I-I…” She seemed unable to find the words.

“What happened?” A voice shouted and the girl broke out crying, falling onto her knees as some other people examined the dead body, hanging out of the car.

“Someone call the police!” Another voice exclaimed loudly.


	2. First Traces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two ~ Enjoy, people :) Thanks, if you're reading x

“ _Last night it happened again – in a small grocery shop in Manchester was a corpse found. Someone must have broken in and caught the owner by surprise. Nothing was stolen, neither food nor money. The ambulance couldn’t do anything for the poor man since he got shot right into the head. The police thinks it must have been someone he knew or else he or she wouldn’t have been able to shoot him in the head from a distance of not even one inch. The cameras have been manipulated because the tape was black in the time the man got killed._ ”

The girl growled, switching off the TV. Someone knocked on her door, causing the young woman to jump in her seat. “Come on in,” she muttered and put away the remote, turning in her chair to look at the door.

It opened and a short girl with black hair entered the door. “Hey Perrie,” she smiled and put two cups of coffee on her table. “What’s up?”

“I don’t know,” the woman with the blonde hair muttered and sighed. She grabbed the cup and took a sip of the coffee before she put it back onto the table, sucking in some air. “Damn,” she muttered, “that was hot.”

“Sorry,” the black haired girl chuckled with a sorry planted on her face. “But what do you mean by ‘I don’t know’?” She asked again, looking at her curiously.

She sighed and shook her head. “It’s these murders,” she muttered, “I am on this person’s heels for how long… half a year? And I still have no clue who the hell he or she is or why she kills. These men don’t have anything in common, they live in different parts of the country, they went to different schools, some are white, some are black, some are Indian and some are from… I don’t even know all their ethnicities. The only thing they have in common is that those are men. I don’t know what to do, Leigh-Anne. This person is too good for me.”

The black haired girl shook her head. “No, they’re not,” she smiled reassuringly. “I guess you will catch them, no matter who they are. I know you; so far you’ve caught everyone.”

Perrie sighed and nodded, getting up from her seat. “It’s been six months though… I really want to get this damn person for killing those innocent men. Why does he do it?” She threw her hands in the air, not looking at the other policewoman. “Simply because she likes killing? I mean, even Jack the Ripper’s victims had something in common, apart from the fact that they all were women.”

“I know,” Leigh-Anne murmured. “See, Manchester isn’t so far away from here. We could drive there and take a look ourselves? Maybe we’ll get him that way.”

“Don’t say he,” Perrie corrected her, “because it could be a woman too. Don’t become sexist.”

“Ha-ha,” Leigh said sarcastically, “as if I wouldn’t be confronted with sexist comments every day.”

“That’s exactly what I am talking about, Pinnock. If we can be the number one in the police, a woman can become the number one on our wanted list.”

…

 

“Good evening, I am special agent Edwards and this is my partner special agent Pinnock,” the blonde woman said and got out her ID. “We are here because of the Henrikson-case.”

The woman in the white costume pulled away her hood to reveal her long, curly brown hair. “My name is Jesy Nelson. Nice to meet you.”

Perrie and Leigh nodded, putting away their IDs. “Same to you,” the black haired girl nodded. “So, what can you tell us… apart from what we can see.”

Around them lay broken cans but just around the area where they must have found the corps – obviously a fight between the now dead man and the escapee. The dead body had been removed by now but there was a frame on the floor. “Didn’t look much comfortable,” Leigh muttered.

“Yeah…” Jesy nodded and looked at the frame, “but I guess he didn’t mind anymore since he must’ve been dead right away.”

The two other women nodded and sighed. “Do you have any traces…? Like, fingerprints or anything? Something to read the DNA?”

Jesy sighed sadly and shook her head. “No, I’m actually really sorry… But this person is some pro.”

“I know,” Perrie growled and looked around in the shop. “I’m trying to catch them for a while now… whoever it is, they are killing men all over the world and so far we have no idea why they do it or after what pattern they do it. So, if you’ve found _anything_ , please let us know.”

The brown haired girl nodded. “If I had something, I would tell you.”

“This is so frustrating…” The blue eyed special agent mumbled. “Wherever I go, they are always gone already. I wish… I would have only one thing to hold onto.”

“We could ask family and friends,” Leigh-Anne suggested and then she turned to Jesy. “Can we have their addresses and stuff? It’d be really important.”

The brown haired girl nodded and walked away. “Come here,” the black haired girl muttered and hugged Perrie tightly. She wished she could tell her how she felt about her but that wouldn’t work because of two reasons… one, because Perrie would never return those feelings and two, because they worked in a job where relationships between two partners simply were forbidden. Even if Perrie returned those feelings, they’d never be allowed to be together as long as they worked together. It was… pretty frustrating. “We can solve this case together, okay? We will get them.”

The blonde nodded and they pulled away, just in time before Jesy returned. “Listen, I was pretty close to James… I meant, Mr Henrikson. If you find anything, please let me know. He was a really nice man who has made a few mistakes, but he didn’t deserve this.”

“Wait, what do you mean by that?” Perrie asked confused and looked up from the papers.

“Well… he was a, um… he liked the ladies, if you understand what I mean.”

Leigh-Anne’s brows furrowed. “What does that mean? Did he, you know, did he sleep with women and then dumped them?”

“Basically, yes,” Jesy said nodding. “He told them how much he loved them, how much he adored them and all these things just to ‘nail them’ and the next day you could already see him with another heartbroken girl. I mean, I was a close friend to him but I never let him have his way, if you understand what I mean. I guess I could just stand it and after a while he didn’t try it with me anymore.” She shrugged and sighed, wiping away her tears. “We were really good friends and no matter who the fuck killed him, I hope you can get them and arrest them for the rest of their life.”

“We’re trying,” Leigh smiled reassuringly and then they said their goodbyes.

“We should check the previous victims’ behaviour towards women too,” the blonde muttered and Leigh looked at her confused. “We might have found our pattern.”

…

“So, what’s your name, love?” The man slurred and put the bottle to his mouth, taking a sip of his sixth beer.

“Amelia,” the girl smiled and pulled a lock of her purple hair around her index finger. “And yours?”

“I am Jonathan, but for you…” He smiled and showed his teeth, “… I am Johnny. You look so beautiful and you’re so young… what are you doing here in the big city all alone?”

She shrugged, the smile not leaving her face. “I have never been to London before so I thought I might check it out. You know… my boyfriend just left me.” She sighed, now the smile on her face fading.

“His loss, I’d say,” Johnny slurred and put away his beer. “You’re so pretty and beautiful and you seem so smart. You deserve better than him.”

She looked up at him, tears shining in her eyes. “Y-you think so?”

Johnny nodded. “Want to go over to mine? I want to show you how much you’re worth it.” She nodded, he put a few pound on the table and grabbed her hand, leading her outside to his car. He opened up the door for her and the moment she sat in the car, she put her hands into her lap, looking around frightened. Jonathan got in too and pressed his lips to hers. The scent and taste of alcohol lingered on his lips, on his face and on his entire body. Nonetheless did a low moan escape her lips and his hand moved from her hips upwards beneath her shirt.

Her hand moved to his front area, palming him through the rough fabric of his jeans. “Do you do this every girl?” She asked, her voice broken with tears.

“No,” he said with a shy smile. He looked into her eyes and pushed a stroke, which had fallen into her face, back behind her ear. “Only you… because you’re such an amazing girl. You deserve the best.”

“And you are the best?” She asked, hiccupping.

“If you want me too,” he smiled and leant forward to kiss her again. He stopped in his moves, his eyes becoming huge and his breath caught in his throat. “What-?” He gasped, looking down at his stomach. Amelia’s hands were firmly holding onto the grip of a knife, whose blade stuck in his guts.

“I am no innocent little heartbroken girl,” she said sweetly. “And I can tell when a douchebag of a filthy man is lying to me. And I don’t like that.” She blinked a few times, her lips forming a sweet innocent smile.

“Why?” He choked out, blood spluttering onto her shirt.

“Because you were a nasty boy. I don’t like it when people lie to me. Don’t you know that?” She asked and turned the blade inside his guts, causing the man to groan in pain. His eyes rolled back into their holes and she smiled slightly. His heart stopped beating and his chest didn’t raise and fall anymore, showing her he was dead now. “I’m sorry but I need to go now… And please don’t tell my daddy I was here, okay?” She kissed the man’s forehead before she turned the knife again. She pulled it out and grabbed a tissue out of her jacket’s pocket to wrap the knife into. She put the knife into her jacket and grabbed another one, grabbing the door-handle. She pulled the door open and got out of the car, running towards the pub again, Her eyes were filled with tears again, mascara running down her cheeks and her hands started to shake. “Help! Someone help me!” She screamed, her voice trembling.

Some people ran towards her, asking her what was wrong. “I-I…” She seemed unable to find the words. Her eyes rolled back into their holes and her body went numb, falling into some man’s arms. “What’s happened?” He asked again quietly.

She blinked a few times and looked into his brown eyes. “A-a man… he… he’s dead,” she choked out.

“What happened?” Another voice said. “Where is he?”

“I-in a car,” she sobbed and covered her face with her hands.

“Someone get out and look for him!” Some man’s voice shouted and a few people ran outside before Amelia fell into unconsciousness. 


	3. The Poor Girl

“We have another victim,” Perrie murmured.

“Do you think it was them again?” Leigh-Anne asked curiously. “I mean, the other victims were all shot in the head, this one was killed by a knife in the guts.”

“I think so…” Perrie muttered mindlessly, “it’s what my instincts tell me… and you know they’ve never been wrong so far.” Her blue eyes looked up into Leigh’s and the black haired girl wondered how Perrie always knew about these things. It was true, the blonde had never been wrong about their cases and she saw how frustrated she got day by day, not knowing who was killing these men. “Yesterday we got our first trace, our pattern. I suppose if we check out the man’s past and his stories with women we will see he’s just the same asshole as the others were.” She bit her lower lip, leant back in her chair and frowned. “Not that any of those deserved to die though,” she added slowly.

“Okay, how about we go and get something to eat so we can concentrate on this case even more?” Leigh suggested hopefully.

After a few seconds of silence Perrie got up, nodding, and grabbed her black jacket. They walked out into the cool air and as the blonde exhaled, she saw a small white cloud coming out of her mouth. “It’s pretty cold for March,” she muttered and frowned yet again.

“Yup,” the black haired woman said, frowning too. “We should hurry before one of us gets a cold.” She giggled and they ran towards a supermarket. They parted whilst Perrie got something to drink and Leigh something to eat. The blonde looked around at the shelves without looking at her feet and suddenly she bumped into someone. “Oh, I am sorry,” she apologized immediately and met a pair of hazel eyes.

“Nothing happened,” the other girl with hazel eyes and purple replied smiling. “Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?” She asked curiously, tilting her head to the side.

“Maybe you’ve seen me in the newspapers?” Perrie suggested and shrugged but she saw something in this stranger girl… she also felt like she had seen her already once. “I am the youngest head of the police of London the city’s ever seen and so I’ve been in there quite a few times already.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re Perrie Edwards, right?” She giggled and reached out her hand for the policewoman to shake it. “I’m Jade Thirlwall. We went to the same school.”

“Oh my, now I remember!” The blonde said and gasped. She and Jade had never been that close, she had just admired the older girl from the far. No-one knew it about her but she had always had a little crush on the girl and it was quite a shock to see her here in London. “What are you doing here?” She smiled slightly.

“Oh, I’m working, you know. I am writing a book and doing some research in the big city. And you? What’s made you come to London?”

“I guess it was that you can’t really do something in small city like South Shields… nothing really happened so I came to London where you have to solve a problem basically every day.” She saw Leigh-Anne approaching her with some muffins and bagels and sighed. “It was nice to meet you again, but I need to go now, my partner is waiting for me.”

Jade nodded and grabbed an Energy drink before she walked off. Perrie grabbed a few energy drinks and some juice too before she walked towards Leigh, meeting her halfway. “Who was that?” The black haired asked curiously and looked over to where Jade had left.

“An old friend of mine,” Perrie smiled and they went to pay.

…

“The bartender said our latest victim left the bar only a few minutes earlier with the girl who found her. She said she had come back to the bar because she needed to use the toilet and when she walked back out to meet him again, he was already dead.”

“Do we have any evidence she was there?”

“Well, no, but we also don’t have any fingerprints of her found on or in the car. When she came back to the bar, she was completely shocked, she even fainted.”

“Poor girl,” Perrie sighed. “Do we have a name of her? We could go and ask her ourselves.”

“Yeah, her name is Jade Thirlwall,” Leigh answered and handed the blonde a folder.

“Oh god,” the blue eyed woman breathed out shocked. “Remember the girl I talked to this morning in the shop? She is Jade Thirlwall. She is an old friend of mine… she was always such a nice and decent girl, I’m so sorry that she had to see this.”

The black haired sighed, sympathy written all over her face. “Well, I suppose we can still visit her and ask her about it? I’ll go and check if we have an address.”

Perrie nodded and watched Leigh-Anne walking out of the room. She leant back in her chair and thought about the old days… she had always liked Jade a lot and she hadn’t even thought the older girl knew her name.

_“So, who of you made the homework?” The teacher asked and the blonde young girl’s eyes went wide._

_“Shit,” she muttered under her breath and squeezed her eyes shut, raising her hands._

_“Ms Edwards?” The teacher asked, looking at her with a raised chin._

_“I-I forgot to do my homework, sir.”_

_The man sighed, taking off his glasses and putting them on the table behind him. He frowned and walked towards the only thirteen year old girl with a glare. “Ms Edwards, this is the third time this week and it’s only Wednesday. I want you to go and see the headmaster after this lesson.”_

_The blonde nodded intimidated and got out her books nonetheless. She had had trouble at home this week and had been too busy to do her homework but she couldn’t tell anyone…_

_After the lesson, her teacher escorted her to the headmaster’s office and she had to take a seat next to a girl with light brown hair and hazel eyes. “I want you to wait until someone calls you in, understood?”_

_The blonde nodded and watched her teacher walk off._

_“Hey, I’m Jade,” the older girl smiled. The blonde had never seen her before so she looked at her surprised. “I just came here. Nice to meet you.”_

_Perrie’s surprised face turned into a warm smile and she shook the hand the other girl had held out for her. “My name’s Perrie and it’s nice to meet you too.”_

_They sat there chatting for a while until the older girl got called in and a few minutes later she walked out, telling Perrie to go inside. She had to explain the teacher why she hadn’t done her homework but she lied to him – no-one would understand it either way._

“Perrie?”

The blonde snapped out of her thoughts to see Leigh-Anne staring at her confused, a yellow envelope in her hands. “Uh, I’m sorry,” the younger woman smiled and sat straight up, grabbing the envelope.

“Jade has no previous convictions whatsoever. She left her home a few months ago and since then she is travelling through the country, but it doesn’t say why.”

“She’s writing a book,” Perrie smiled and got up from her seat to grab the envelope. “Do we have anything else about her? Like, where her family is?”

“Yes, um… when she was fourteen, her mother got murdered. The police found out it was her father – he got into jail which made her and her brother orphans. Apparently her father had raped her when she didn’t want to sleep with him and one night he got too violent… it ended up with manslaughter.”

Perrie shook her head with tears in her eyes. “The poor girl… she came to my school when she was fourteen but she never spoke about her parents so I didn’t know what has happened. That’s simply horrible… where did she live before this all happened?”

“Um, she came to South Shields but it doesn’t say where she lived before. Let me check.” Leigh grabbed the envelope and pulled out a folder, thumbed through it until she pulled out a piece of paper. “Their parents were working for a zoo so they travelled through the country. They got lessons on the ride.”

“Did…” Perrie grabbed the folder to take a closer look, “… Mr Thirlwall ever get out of jail?”

Leigh-Anne shook her head. “He had a fight with another prisoner and got kicked in the stomach. The doctors underestimated it but it killed him since he was losing too much blood.”

“What do we have about her brother?”

Leigh took a look at the folder again and pulled out another piece of paper, “His name is Karl Thirlwall. He still lives in South Shields, has a wife and a little baby girl.”

“It’s a miracle how they both could turn this normal after everything what’s happened to both of them…” Perrie sighed and frowned. “And now Jade even had to find the corpse. I am so sorry for everything that’s happened to her.”

Leigh sighed and let her shoulders fall a little. “I know, it’s really sad… but I really think we should have a little talk with Ms Thirlwall.”

The blonde nodded and got up, grabbing her jacket again. “Where does she live?”

“In a hotel, right around the corner.”

“Great.”

…

After they had knocked on a door, both Perrie and Leigh-Anne waited a few seconds before they heard shuffling behind the door.

As it opened, a girl stood in the frame, her hands holding onto a white towel with reddish patches on it. The policewoman looked at Jade shocked whose mouth hung agape. “That’s not what it looks like!” She said and raised her hands in defence. “I’ve just washed my hair and this is colour!” Actually, her hair was hanging down, still soaked and uncombed. On Jade’s back where the same kind of reddish patches and the blonde and black haired girls immediately calmed down.

“I am special agent Leigh-Anne Pinnock and… I guess you already know my partner; Perrie Edwards,” Leigh introduced them to her and they both got out their IDs to show them to Jade. “May we come inside?”

“Err, sure,” Jade mumbled and stepped aside to let the two women inside. “Can I offer you anything?”

“No, thanks,” both women said the same moment and looked at each other smiling.

“Um, yeah, how can I help you?” Jade asked curiously.

“It’s about Mr Jonathan Neeson.”

Jade raised her eyebrows in confusion. “Who’s that? Oh wait, that’s the man…” She looked away, gulping and taking a deep breath. She looked up at the two policewomen, tears in her eyes. “We had met in the bar just a few minutes earlier… My boyfriend had just left me and he told me he wanted to make me feel good. Please, I do not want to get into trouble but I thought he was speaking about drugs and I thought… if not now, when else?”

Leigh and Perrie exchanged a look before they motioned the purple haired girl to go on. “He wanted me to get inside his car but I told him to wait a few minutes because I needed to pee before. And when I came back… he… he…” A sob escaped her lips and she immediately covered her mouth with her trembling hands. “It was just… so horrible.”

“Everything’s alright,” Perrie whispered and rubbed her back soothingly. “We’ll get whoever did this to him.” She looked over to her partner who seemed not to know what to do in a situation like this. Perrie looked back down at the older girl and smiled reassuringly. “Can we do anything for you?” She asked.

“Make them stop,” Jade murmured, meeting Perrie’s blue eyes. But what the policewoman didn’t know… Jade was never talking about the murderers. She meant those men; she wanted them to stop playing with girls’ feelings.


	4. Caught?

_“You’re Perrie, right?”_

_A voice snapped the blonde girl out of her thoughts as she sat on a bench, not eating her food. “Oh, um, yes. Hi, Jade.”_

_The older girl smiled a little. “Yay, you remembered my name,” she cheered. “I know it’s weird but I don’t know any people from my class yet so could I possibly sit with you?”_

_The young blonde girl nodded eagerly, making the other girl some space. “Where are you from?” She asked the new girl and eventually took a bite of her sandwich._

_Jade shrugged and took a bite of an apple – the blue eyed girl expected she didn’t want to talk about it so she dropped the subject but now she didn’t really know what to say and could sense an awkward silence. But to her surprise it didn’t get awkward – they were just sitting next to each other and ate their lunch._

_The bell rang and they both wrapped their food into aluminium foil and then into coloury boxes. Perrie smiled at Jade before she went away, heading to her class. If she had waited a few more seconds, she had heard the silent ‘thank you’ the older girl had said._

Perrie shook her head –it had been so long since she and Jade had been together in school and yet she couldn’t stop thinking of the older girl. It was ridiculous… she hadn’t seen her for a couple of years and now, only because she had met her again, her mind was racing, reproducing the few memories she had with the poor girl.

Her heart was breaking when she thought how exhausted and young Jade had looked when she broke down crying in her own flat because of what had happened to this man who had only wanted to take her home.

Perrie bit her lower lip and scratched the back of her neck, not liking the idea of Jade with that man. He had used her because she had been heartbroken and it made the policewoman angry; she wanted to punch him for treating her like this but the next second she felt guilt tripping down her spine as she thought he was dead by now.

What if the murderer was seeing this all as a good thing? Saving helpless, young women who were about to get used by an asshole. Perrie was still against the idea of killing for it but she had to admit it was somewhat chivalrous.

The door to her office creaked open and to her surprise she saw a brunette girl. She could remember that face from somewhere but right now she couldn’t put a name to it. “Perrie Edwards?” The woman asked and opened the door a little wider as the blonde nodded. “My name is Jesy Nelson, I don’t know if you remember me… I was a part of the police in Manchester. The case Henrikson is yours, isn’t it?”

Now Perrie remembered and her serious face got replaced by a soft smile. “Oh, yes, I remember you. How can I help you?”

“I would like to ask you for your help, please,” Jesy muttered, her cheeks turning red. “I don’t know many of the previous victims of this murderer but Henrikson was a close friend of mine and now Jonathan… he was my cousin. I am afraid the murderer might want something from me…”

Perrie had to admit it wasn’t an impossible option – if she was really close to the latest victims the chance the murderer wanted something from Jesy, was rather big. But she was used to calming people down so she put on a reassuring smile and said softly, “That’s probably just a coincidence. As you just said, you didn’t know the previous victims, did you?”

“Not all of them,” Jesy admitted but you could tell she was still afraid. “I know this is a really weird request but could I have some kind of guardian? Would you have anyone for me?”

Perrie nodded and felt protective over the girl right away, “I would do it myself, if you do not mind.”

Jesy’s eyes widened in shock and she shook her head eagerly. “No, it would be an honour if it was you, Ms Edwards!”

The blonde smiled and waved it off, “Aww, no big deal. And call me Perrie, please.”

“Of course,” the other girl chirped happily and relief washed throughout her body – she knew Perrie was one of the best police officers of the country, if she wasn’t even the best; she wouldn’t have to be afraid anymore!

Perrie’s phone buzzed and she gestured Jesy to excuse her for a second before she pulled it out, reading through the message she had received from her partner;

**_From: Leigh_ **

**_Msg.: hey, wanna go partyin tonite? we havent been out in a while :)_ **

She looked up at Jesy again and smiled brightly – she could get to know the stranger girl a little and they would have some fun; “Would you like to go out with me and my partner tonight?” She asked and for a second surprised, Jesy hesitated. But eventually she nodded and the blonde typed back:

**_From: Perrie_ **

**_Msg.: yeh, sure, meet u at 8 in notting hill arts club_ **

 She put away her phone and got up from her seat, a bright smile on her face. “We should probably get ready now; we’ve only one hour left!” She smiled and ushered Jesy out of her office, locking the door behind her.

…

A little less than an hour later Jesy and Perrie stood in the queue to one of the many clubs in London, both their eye-pairs looking for the other black haired policewoman. The security guy at the door called them both over, letting them through between a few men to the front. “You two look good, you can go in.”

“Sorry, but have you seen a black haired girl?” Perrie asked him nicely and smiled slightly at him.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry but hundreds of girls enter and leave all the time, I really don’t know,” he said and shrugged before he made them move so he could let other people in too. Perrie sighed and they entered the club. She wore a cut low dress, black dress and her hair was tied back. Big earrings hung down her ears and she had a tiny white purse with her. She got out her phone and tried to send Leigh a message but she couldn’t get any reception.

Sighing she turned back to Jesy and asked her if she wanted something to drink and as the other girl just nodded, they walked over to the bar. Behind the counter was a man with black hair and also a black shirt. A black sleeve tattoo covered his entire left arm and he smiled at the girls. “Hello, ladies, what can I get you?” He asked them with a charming smile.

“An appletini for me,” Perrie shouted over the loud music and the bartender’s attention turned to Jesy, who chose a ‘Sex on the beach’. He turned around and mixed a few drinks before he turned back to the girls to hand it to them. The blonde wanted to get out some money to pay him but suddenly a hand reached forward and put enough money in front of the two girls, who looked over to see a smiling man. He had a few muscles and seemed to be pretty keen on his own appearance. “I’ll pay for those ladies,” he shouted towards the bartender, who grabbed the money and put it away.

“Thanks,” Jesy replied shyly and took a sip of her drink.

“Do you want to dance?” The man asked her smiling and after taking a look at Perrie, she nodded and left the bar together with the man. Again the blue eyed girl looked around, trying to find her friend and partner. She got out her phone again, trying it again, but it was a hopeless case.

She sighed and turned back to the bartender who was smiling at her. “You look sad,” he said and leant forward. Everyone at the bar had their drinks so he could have a few seconds for Perrie. “Want to tell me what’s up?”

“My friend’s just not here yet, is all,” the blonde replied honestly and put her drink on the table – she really couldn’t take much since she felt light headed already. She had almost drunken all of it in less than five minutes so it was no big wonder why she already felt dizzy.

“I guess she’ll be here before you can say your name. By the way, what  _is_  your name? I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere already before.” He smiled charmingly and got ready another appletini for her before she had even drunken the entire first one.

“I’m Perrie. And who are you?” She asked.

“My name is Zayn. Where have I seen you already? You aren’t a celebrity, are you? Because if you are, you need to sign something for me.” He chuckled a little but before Perrie could answer he got called by someone and excused himself to do his job.

Perrie looked around and saw Jesy heading towards the toilets. She almost wanted to get up and follow her but that moment Zayn came back and repeated, “Okay, spill Perrie. Where do I know you from?”

The policewoman smiled and shrugged. “I don’t know.” She sat there chatting with Zayn for a while, he got her drink after drink but whenever she wanted to pay, he told her, he would pay for her. She felt flustered and let him do what he wanted but she struggled not to fall off her seat after a few drinks. “Please give me a coffee,” she said before he could mix her another drink.

Zayn chuckled but nodded and disappeared somewhere. A few more guests came to the bar, waiting for him to re-appear. Soon he came back with a steaming cup. Grateful she grabbed it and poured some of the sugar inside he had given her too. He served the other people until everyone was satisfied and Perrie sobered up a little. She asked him for another glass of water until she knew she was still drunk but at least she could control her body and what she was saying.

“Have you seen Jesy?” The blonde slurred and looked around, looking for the brunette. “Wait here, I’ll go look for her.” She hopped off her chair wan stumbled towards the toilets. The door squeaked a little as she pushed it open and cool air hit her, sobering her up even more. The window was not fully closed but not big enough so a normal person would fit in. “Jesy?” Perrie asked and kneeled on the floor. She was careful not to touch the floor with her head as she bent down, tilting her head to the side as she look under the individual cabins but no-one was in here. She got out her phone and finally she saw she was able to communicate again and saw she had received a text message.

**_From: Leigh_ **

**_Msg.: I cant, my dogs ill and i need to take care of him. i thought sarah could take care of him for a while but no_ **

She thought it was sad that Leigh couldn’t make it but on the other hand was she relieved that nothing had happened to her – she was worrying about Leigh way too easily. They weren’t only partners, the black haired girl was also her best friend and she loved her to pieces.

Since Jesy wasn’t in here, Perrie walked out again, trying to find her. She considered standing on a table and look for her but she was afraid some people might get it wrong but eventually Jesy’s security was more important than what people might think of her when she stood on the table. “Could you help me please?” She asked, turning to a man next to a table, and nodding towards it. A smirk spread across the guy’s face and he nodded, grabbing her hand and holding her arm so she could step onto the table.

Perrie walked out of the club and suddenly someone bumped into her. She looked up and saw Jesy’s brown hair but she gasped at she saw the other girl’s eyes were puffy and red. “It’s happened again!” Jesy scream-whispered and pointed to a body, which lay a few feet from them on the cemetery floor. She grabbed the blonde’s wrist and ran towards the body and the blonde gasped as she stepped into something sticky. Perrie lifted her foot to see what she had stepped into but it was too dark to see what it was – it was a liquid though and dripped down her feet.

“Jesy, what –” She started and looked at the other girl again but now she realized what was happening. She looked around, trying to call someone and she saw a figure disappearing in the shadows. “Wait here,” she told Jesy and ran after the figure.


	5. Realisation

Perrie ran towards the figure but that moment they walked around the corner. Not stopping, she ran around the corner too but her left foot slipped on something sticky and it stretched, urging her other foot to give in and she fell forward. Her right knee hit the ground and she hissed but she pushed her hands forwards so her head wouldn’t fall onto the concrete floor. She shut her eyes closed as a wave of pain washed through her body.

Due to the painful pressure on her knee, she pushed herself back and sat on her bum on the cold floor, looking down at it. Since she was only wearing a dress, it was now cut open and little stones could be seen in the wound; also in her palms were a few tiny stones due to the fact she had held them out reflexively.

“Oh my god,” a voice said and she turned around to see a black haired girl standing next to, now kneeling down. “Are you okay, Perrie?” She asked and looked at her bleeding knee.

“What are you doing here?” Was the first question that came into the blonde’s mind.

“My mum offered to take care of Maurice so I could join you,” Leigh-Anne explained frowning. “Are you okay?” She repeated.

Perrie nodded and with the help of the black haired, she got up. “It just happened again – Jesy wanted to go home with this guy and when she came back from the toilet, he lay dead on the ground.”

“Jesy?” Leigh-Anne asked and looked at her curiously.

“She was there in Manchester; when we had the Henrikson case. She is afraid the murderer wants something from her because she knew the last two… I mean three victims. I was just chasing someone when I slipped and fell.” She realized she was hobbling. Although she wouldn’t admit her – her knee was throbbing and she felt like ripping it off to get rid of the pain. In the meantime a crowd had gathered around the victim and soon you could hear the sirens of the ambulance and the police.

“Jesy?” Perrie shouted through the crowd, looking for the brown haired girl. Soon she found her and pulled the older girl in an embrace – she was still crying and her makeup was dishevelled; black stains running down her cheeks. “Everything’s going to be alright,” the blonde tried to sooth her, rubbing her back softly and sighing a little.

“B-but if… if I had not gone t-to the toilet…” Jesy hiccupped and pulled away, wiping her hand across her nose. “H-he had gotten m-me too…”

Perrie shook her head and smiled softly at her. “You have one thing this guy hadn’t,” Perrie tried to calm her and smiled. “The victims are only men – you never were in danger.” She was trying to convince her words were the truth although she wasn’t so sure anymore… what if the murderer really tried to kill everyone around Jesy only to get her later? Suddenly a shiver ran through her body – if this was the case, she could be one of the following victims too.

Swallowing down the lump in her throat she looked around to see some police officers approaching them and she pulled away from the sobbing girl to straighten her dress. They came right up to the two of them and looked at the curiously. “My name is Styles. Does one of you know what happened?” The cop asked and some of his brown curls were visible under his hat. He had a low and slow voice and an unintentional smile was across his face as he looked at the blonde and the brown haired girls.

“Uh, yeah, I will tell,” Perrie began because it looked like Jesy couldn’t say a word right now. “Well, my friend here was about to go to this guy’s…” She pointed at the dead body on the floor, “… home but she needed the toilet and when she came back out, she found him like this.”

Styles looked at the crying girl and cocked up an eyebrow. “Is this true?”

Not even able to choke out a word, the older girl only nodded. He looked back at the blonde and asked again, “How could you be sure she was on the toilet and didn’t do it herself?”

Perrie let out a dry laugh, shaking her head unbelieving his words. “First because she is crying a waterfall and second because I saw her walking to the toilet.”

Styles nodded again and wrote something down on a piece of paper in his hands. “And may I ask who I am talking to?” He added as he looked up at her again curiously.

“Special agent Perrie Edwards,” the blue eyed girl answered smiling and again the policeman raised an eyebrow at her. “I am sorry, ma’am, you could have told me.” He smiled respectfully. He bowed his head down a little bit before he walked away, asking some other people a few questions.

“Leigh, could you do me a favour?” Perrie asked, turning to her best friend, who nodded right away. “Please bring Jesy home safely and make sure she goes to bed right away.” A year ago she had brought home another woman, who had witnessed a murder too, and the next day she heard the poor woman had been found hanged; she had committed suicide.

Leigh-Anne nodded and pulled her hand through the triangle Jesy’s arm formed with her waist and pulled her away from the venue. They walked off into the dark and Perrie frowned, looking back at the now shrinking crowd. The cop was talking to a few not-so-sober people and Perrie looked at the people from the ambulance.

They were carefully checking if he had a heart beat or if he was still breathing but after a few seconds the one on his knees, his fingers pressed against the corpse’s neck, shook his head. They walked over to another policeman with brunet hair and asked him a few things, to which he shook his head. He himself walked over to the dead body and looked at it for a while.

He looked up and met Perrie’s blue eyes and for a second she was surprised – from this distance he looked like he was about forty, but now, that their eyes met, she saw, he must have been only a two to three years older than him. Frowning, he stood up from his kneeling position and walked over to the blonde. “I heard you are a police officer?” He asked curiously as he stood in front of her; now she saw how young he was, about twenty.

Nodding, Perrie opened her mouth to say something but then closed it again because she wouldn’t know what to say. “Well, could you maybe tell us what you know?”

Perrie nodded again and a slight smile formed on her lips. “I suppose he’s the victim of a mass murderer. We are tracking him or her for quite a while now but so far we have no traces whatsoever. But what I’ve realized is, that the time distances between the murders become shorter. The second victim was found two months after the first one, the third three weeks later. We have twelve victims so far… thirteen, if I am correct and he is one too.”

“If you have no traces, how can you know these murders are all done by one person?” The stranger (but attractive) policeman asked curiously.

“I cannot explain it, actually,” Perrie said and smiled a little. “At first we did not, it took us really a long time to realize these murders are connected. It was the seventh or eighth one. The victims are all men, rather young, and… Apart from one so far, they’ve all been shot. What’s the reason he died?” Perrie asked and looked past him – the corpse had now been removed.

The stranger nodded and followed her gaze, before he looked back at the blonde young woman, “Shot, in the stomach. We don’t know why exactly he’s died so fast but I suppose it was a rupture of the spleen or another essential organ.”

Perrie nodded understanding. “Thanks for your help, officer…”

“Tomlinson,” the older male smiled and bowed his head down grinning, showing off his teeth. “Louis Tomlinson and my partner is Harry Styles. And I thank you for your help too.”

They parted and Perrie walked towards the street, sighing. She wished she could drive because it was, although it was already March, it was freezing cold since she was only wearing a short dress. But she herself was responsible for the right and so she couldn’t drive drunk, although she didn’t feel drunk anymore in the slightest – it was still in her blood and she could make a bad mistake. Furthermore hadn’t she come here with her car anyway because she knew she would drink some booze.

She walked down the street, only the flickering lights above her brightening up her way scanty; suddenly a car drove past her and got slower, almost stopping. The window got pulled down and a familiar face looked out. “Hey, should I take you home?” Jade offered smiling.

Perrie breathed out relieved and nodded happily, walking towards the car and yanking open the door. She sat down and quickly shut it closed, shivering a little. “It’s freezing,” she said and the older girl chuckled. “Where can I take you?”

“Just bring me to the hotel, I live right between it and the police station.”

“Oh, how handy,” Jade smiled at her before she turned her attention back to the street. The lights were dim and you could hardly see anything; if her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her, Perrie could be sure it was fogging. She felt uncomfortable suddenly and frowned. “Are you okay?” The older girl asked carefully, her gaze flickering over the blonde’s figure, who quickly nodded.

“Yeah, just tired.”

Jade nodded and turned up the radio – some disco music came out and rolling her eyes, she turned it off again. “There’s only rubbish at night.”

“Oh god, yes,” Perrie laughed and told herself to relax – she was still anxious because of what had crossed her mind before and if she was  _really_  one of the next victims, Jade was in actual life danger. She sighed and thought if she should probably tell her…

“We’re here,” Jade smiled, snapping the blonde out of her mind. She stopped the car and turned to her smiling. Suddenly the blonde blushed – once she had been dreaming about this, but the reason why she had been in her car, had been a different.

“Thank you,” she murmured sheepishly and got out of the car. Quickly she ran down the street to her house and looked back when she stood at the door, only to see Jade smiling at her as she walked towards the hotel. Blushing furiously red again, she opened her door and walked inside. She rushed up to her flat, got into her room and undressed before she slipped beneath the blankets of her bed.

…

_“Would you like to go out on a date?”_

_The voice snapped Perrie out of her thoughts, looking up from her book. “W-what?” She asked and stared deeply into Jade’s hazel ones._

_“I know, we hardly ever speak to one another and you’re in a grade beneath me but you were my friend from the first day on and I thought it’d be nice, wouldn’t it?” She smiled sheepishly, her cheeks burning red and her palms sweaty._

_“Y-yeah, sure!” Perrie cheered. She closed her book and jumped up from her seat to hug the older girl. “How would you know I had a crush on you when I never talked to you?”_

_“I didn’t,” Jade breathed out relieved and looked into Perrie’s eyes with a smile. “I just hoped you would.”_

_Perrie giggled and nodded._

_“So, can I pick you up tonight?” And right after the young blonde nodded, Jade walked away with a huge grin on her face._

_Later that day, someone rang the bell and, dressed in a light blue dress and her hair made up into a ponytail, Perrie walked down the stairs to open the door. They went out to a restaurant and being the older one, Jade paid. The blonde counted this as the best day in her life and never would she want it to end – but sadly, after they sat there half an hour after they had paid, the waitress told them they needed the table and they walked towards Jade’s car._

_The ride home was over way too soon and they sat in the car for a few more minutes, not even looking at each other shyly. After a few minutes, Jade finally turned to the blonde and smiled at her. “I really like this date,” she said and nodded._

_Perrie’s lips formed a bright smile and she nodded eagerly too. “Yeah. It’s been my first date at all and it was marvellous.”_

_“I’m glad you liked it…” Jade giggled and leant a bit forward. She put her hands down, holding onto the seat, but she slipped and fell forward. Perrie grabbed her shoulders to prevent her from falling too much and suddenly their foreheads were touching, both of them panting wide-eyed._

_Jade’s hazel eyes flickered down at the younger’s lips and back up into her crystal blue orbs. “I-I really like you,” she choked out and the blonde nodded her head in response, licking her bottom lip. Jade’s hands cupped her face, her eyes fluttered closed and moving forward, her lips brushed Perrie’s-_

Hearing loud beeping sounds, Perrie groaned and rolled over in her bed to switch it off – she had been dreaming a dream she had dreamt when she was like seventeen and like back then she had been woken up by her alarm (when she was younger it had been her mum but still).

Frustrated she threw her legs out of the bed and sat there, running her hands through her face. She shouldn’t feel this way _again_ … feelings were never good in this business. But what could she do against it? She wanted to protect Jade from anyone and anything but… she knew she shouldn’t feel this way about anyone. It was already dangerous how close her relationship with her best friend was – she was like a sister to her.

“Shit,” she muttered. “I’m falling in love with her… again.”


	6. No More Lies

_Maybe it was another time or another world. Maybe we could be together then. If you were no police officer and if I didn’t do… what I am doing. You wouldn’t understand it, Perrie. What I do is not something you’d be happy of and you would probably lock me into jail. If I told you what’s keeping me from letting my feelings control my body, you would hate me. You would hate me because of what I did and I can’t let it happen. I know that… you have feelings for me. I am neither stupid nor blond or oblivious. I just can’t let it happen. It wouldn’t be good… for me and for all those other women._

_Yes, it was me. It was me who killed all those men all over the country. But they deserved it and you know this is true. It’s just that our society wants to make you believe that killing someone is something wrong when we have always done it._

_It’s one of our primary instincts and I think the day, when people will stop killing, is the day, when the hell freezes to ice. I know what I do is against our society’s moral but isn’t what they do, too? All I do, is cleaning the country. And if I could, I’d do it on the entire planet. And if someone was about to put me back into the past, before I even started it all, I would do it again._

_I regret nothing._

_The only thing in life I regret is not being able to save my mother or being able to tell you what I was feeling already in school. I feel like a coward but it was also a step I needed to take so I became what I am now – a strong and independent woman._

_And this… is why I can’t tell you. Because if I actually told me, you would hate me. You wouldn’t be able to look at me anymore the same and the feelings, you are feeling inside every time you saw me, would disappear. And even if I somehow managed to get those feelings back, make them re-appear, you would fight against them even more than you do now so if I keep myself away from you, not showing my feelings and mostly not telling you what I am doing to clean the world, it’ll be better for everyone._

Jade rubbed her temples frustrated as she looked outside the window; the tress and other things melting together in a mixture of different colours as the train moved fast. Why had everything suddenly become so hard when she had met Perrie? Before she had had no problems either, why now?

She had thought, she had finally got over the blonde and she probably would have, if she hadn’t turned up again…

“Can I bring you something?” A voice made her snap out of her thoughts and looking up, Jade was met by one of the waitresses on the train. The woman in the grey uniform was smiling sweetly at her, her hands holding onto the tray in front of her. On the tray were different things; a few cups, coffee, hot water, tea, different kinds of lemonade, coke, and some sandwiches and crisps.

“Umm, no, thanks, I’m doing fine,” Jade replied tiredly and her voice was raspy and dry. Maybe she should drink something (but not pay those tremendously high prices). As she watched the waitress walking away, she bent down to pick up her rucksack and looked through it until she found what she had been looking for – bottled water.

Still one hand inside the rucksack, she felt something buzzing and stopped drinking for a second curiously. As she realised it had just been her phone, she rolled her eyes at her own stupidity, took another sip of the water before she put it back into the rucksack and took out her phone.

Maybe it had been a bad idea to give her phone number to Perrie… Their relationship consisted nothing apart from lies and those lies had only been created on Jade’s side – it made her guts wrench and her throat even drier. She really liked Perrie a lot and she would like to start all over again, without any lies, but she herself knew it wasn’t possible… What she did, might be something good in her own opinion but in other people’s minds it was something horrible – she was something horrible you needed to lock away until it was dying slowly, fading away, and disappearing from this world.

To be honest, the human race was nothing than a huge bunch of hypocrites. All they told and promised… it was all just lies. But if you admitted you have been lying, doing something wrong, you were the bad person. How was it socially acceptable to throw away women after you used her for your own pleasure? But it wasn’t socially acceptable to get rid of people like this!

This was the problem with the human race – they couldn’t see who the actual enemy was. Jade was accepting men, in case they were the way she wanted them to be. Yes, she was a selfish human too but it wasn’t her fault she was a human. But what she did was not only for her own benefit. She had saved so many women’s hearts but it did take a toll.

She couldn’t have a normal life, speaking loudly about her job.

The waitress now walked past her again, ignoring her this time as she was just bringing back the tray to wherever it belonged to.

Jade sighed again – why couldn’t she just relax on her train ride? Normally she would always take a nap, relaxing from everything but today her mind was racing, not giving her any freedom but all it did was complaining about humans.

The phone in her hand buzzed again, indicating to finally pay attention to whatever message she had gotten since it was now two new messages from the same person – Perrie. 

**_From: Perrie_ **

**_Msg.: Hey, I forgot to ask you where you were going? I don’t wana annoy you, I’m just curious, really_ **

**_-_ **

**_From: Perrie_ **

**_Msg: wanna*_ **

It was kind of cute how Perrie felt like she had to correct herself and she couldn’t help the little smile that was now spreading all across her face. If they were just different people and if it was just less complicated…

Her fingers hovered over the bright buttons, waiting for her to type in an answer but her mind never found the words. She knew she couldn’t tell Perrie where she was about to go because what if she was responsible for the next man she was ‘taking care of’ and Perrie saw her at the place, she would most likely get suspicious and she wouldn’t need to be revealed yet.

She needed to save more women.

But at the same time… could she lie to her again? It hurt inside her chest… it made her fade away slowly as the guilt was eating her from the inside out.

Breathing out heavily, she decided to answer and tell, for once, the truth;

**_From: Jade_ **

**_Msg.: Wycombe :)_ **

She wanted to add something else but wasn’t sure whether she was annoying the blonde or not so she decided to just send the message like this. At least she hadn’t lied this time. It was a start, wasn’t it?

…

“Nothing’s happened for a while,” Leigh-Anne muttered, snapping Perrie out of her thoughts. She couldn’t really point at it, but something had happened to the blonde. It was frustrating; seeing her change and not being able to do anything about it or at least knowing what the actual F was happening.

She nodded in agreement, licking her lower lip and falling back into her thoughts. “Perrie,” Leigh pressed, not wanting to give up the girl this easily. “Tell me what’s wrong with you, please. I’m seriously worrying… You’re… different and I have no idea what it is. You should know, we’re not only partners. I will always be here if you need someone to listen. I would refer myself as your best friend.”

Perrie was about to open her mouth although no answer was about to cross her lips as suddenly the phone between the two of them rang. They both stared at it in silence for a while until the blonde gave in sighing, grabbing it and holding it to her ear. “Special agents Edwards and Pinnock, how may I help you?”

“ _I-I don’t… I…_ ”

“Okay, calm down,” Perrie spoke softly, now being back to her old and strong self as the frightened voice of a little girl stammered. “Can you tell me what’s made you upset?”

“ _M-my… daddy, he’s…_ ”

“Everything is going to be alright. Where do you live?” Perrie pressed, trying to find out what has happened. It wasn’t a really rare occasion that little kids would call, unable to spill what they were seeing and she has been trained to keep these kids on the phone as long as she needed to find out where it happened.

The little girl stammered out her address and Perrie scribbled it down quickly. “Okay, listen. We will be at your side within a few minutes. Just try to calm down a little and don’t open the door to anyone apart from me, alright? I will knock four times so you know it’s me. Knock-knock, break, knock-knock. Is that okay with you?”

“ _Y-yeah, I g-guess…_ ”

“Okay, wait a bit.” Perrie hung up and jumped out of her seat, smiling at Leigh sadly. “Well, seems like there is  _now_ something.”

…

“Jefferson, Henry. Thirty-three. He is born and raised in London but then moved to Wycombe when he was finished with school, went to a normal school and married his wife Melissa Jefferson, born as Melissa Rider. They have a daughter together, Hannah Jefferson, who was the one who called you. He died after someone shot him in the head from only a few metres afar. We don’t know yet who it was.”

Perrie frowned, listening closely to the coroner in front of her. The corpse of the man was lying in front of them, no clothing covering his naked and sewed together body. There was a red line trailing down his entire chest, looking like a Y and showing the policewoman the post-mortem examination was already over. “You said you found him at like five in the afternoon?” The man asked the policewoman, and after she nodded, the man added, “Well, he must have been dead for about ten hours already. His daughter found him when she came home from a friend. If she had walked home straight after school, we couldn’t have been able to do anything for him either. I guess she was just lucky she  _wasn’t_  at home. Who knows what this murderer wanted from her.”

“Thanks,” the blonde answered smiling and the coroner walked off, leaving her alone with the corpse. She had a slight feeling this murder had to do with all her other cases… it was just that the reason must have changed. The man had been married, had a proper job and even a little daughter. She had talked to his wife, who insisted he was one of the best husbands in the world but she hadn’t had a chance to talk to any of his friends so far.

Sighing, she walked up the stairs into the headquarters of the police and as she passed by Leigh-Anne’s office, she saw there was a man sitting inside it. Not being able to keep her curiosity on the down low, she decided to knock. Both the man and Leigh looked up as she entered the room. “Hey,” Perrie said quietly and smiled slyly. “Leigh?”

“Oh,” the black haired said and her confused look turned into a smile as she realised what Perrie was doing in here. “This is Mr Kyle Mars. He is a father of Hannah Jefferson’s friends and he came here according to Mr Jefferson’s death.”

“Nice to meet you,” Perrie smiled and shook the man’s hand. “I am special agent Perrie Edwards and Leigh- I mean, Ms Pinnock’s partner. So, what have I missed.”

“Nothing actually,” Mr Mars smiled. “I had just arrived and wanted to… let you know a few things about Mr Jefferson.”

“We are listening,” Leigh-Anne urged him to go on.

“Well, I just got to know it today. But it was quite evident and I had always thought something was wrong in this all too perfect family. I mean, apparently Melissa and Henry never thought and even my wife and I get along very well and even we fight sometimes… So I asked my daughter to invite Hannah over, so I could ask her about it. I know it was not a good thing since the little girl is only like six and I used her… But I got to know that… the harmony in this family is quite dishevelled. I… I was making lunch for my daughter and Hannah since she would stay with us for a few hours and as she took of her jacket, I saw how many bruises she had all over her tiny arms…” He ran a hand over his face, trying to calm down a little as anger and frustration was building up inside him. “I asked her about them and…” He inhaled audible and squeezed his eyes shut as the anger was about to take over. “That fucking jerk had hit her!” He just couldn’t keep his emotions in control anymore; it made him furious when adults let out their anger on little children… children, who weren’t even able to fight back or defend themselves! “Since she is on this planet, her father is abusing her, hitting her and I don’t know what else. I didn’t want to let her go back home because she didn’t deserve this kind of treatment. To be honest, I have no idea who the hell the murderer was but I think he deserves being killed.”

Perrie raised an eyebrow at the man in the chair in front of them as he tried to calm down a little. She sighed and pinched her nose. “Looks like our little friend spread his killing habit.”


	7. Childhood Memories

Jade looked around in the shop, looking for some quick food she could make before she had to leave the city. She knew the corpse was found by now because it had been all over the news so she needed to get away from this city… if Perrie came here and met her in the next city again, wouldn’t she get any suspicious?

Perrie was nothing but trouble to her – sometimes she wished she could just erase her from the face of the earth, but she wouldn’t. Perrie was a strong and independent woman and only doing her job.

Sighing, she grabbed a bag of crisps and some bread, with which she walked up to the counter. Impatiently, she tapped her foot on the ground and paid before she hurried out of the shop. Like always, it was raining and with a heavy sigh, she tried to cover her head with the bread. She didn’t own a car, neither had she thought about bringing an umbrella right now, so she could tell she would be soaked by the time she arrived in the hotel.

Cars drove past her, splashing water in her direction and once she stopped, looking down at her legs – they were full of mud and dirty water. Great. Just great. She sighed, letting her hands hang down and not caring about it anymore. Another car was about to drive past here but she didn’t even try to jump out of the way; that’s why it surprised her when the car suddenly stopped.

“Jade?” A voice said and shocked the purple haired girl turned around to see a blonde girl sitting on the driver’s seat.

“Oh, Perrie!” Jade said, forcing a smile and running a hand through her hair. It was sticking in her face, partly covering her eyesight but so far she hadn’t really bothered – now, that she saw Perrie, she was suddenly worried about her looks. She hadn’t planned on meeting her again… especially not this soon! It was frustrating because she shouldn’t keep contact to anyone… her secret could be revealed way too easily… the biggest problem was probably that Perrie was reliable for her… she was looking for her, chasing her through the entire country when she was just here in front of her… if she wasn’t a little afraid, she would actually laugh at the situation.

She managed a genuine smile at the thought because she actually  _wasn’t_ afraid. “What are you doing here?” She asked, covering her head with the bread again. If it wasn’t wrapped into plastic, it would have been soaked by now, just as much as her.

“I was in the city because of another case… I totally forgot you were here! Come on in, you shouldn’t get a cold,” the blonde smiled and reached over to open the door.

Jade blinked a couple of times and seemed to be confused by her surroundings, much to Perrie’s confusion, but she didn’t comment on it as Jade seemed to collect herself soon.

 “I’m wetting your car,” Jade sighed, unsure of where to put her arms. She only wore a skirt and her legs were almost shining as the wet drops on her thighs reflected the lights, which shone through the grey clouds on the sky.

“No problem,” Perrie waved her off and Jade’s heart hurt a little… she was being so nice to her and pushing her away seemed to get harder with every second she spent with the younger girl. She really liked Perrie, she couldn’t deny it, but…

“This isn’t good,” a voice inside her head told her, to which she scolded and shook her head. Perrie was lovely and nice. Why did she keep telling herself that this was impossible when she wanted it so much?

“It’s only a car from the office, so it’s not mine and so it’s also not my problem… What were doing in the rain though?”

Jade sighed heavily, dropping her hands into her lap, where the bread and the crisps lay already. “I don’t actually know… I was just buying some food because I would leave today already again but then it started raining… Thanks for picking me up, by the way.” She couldn’t help the blush creeping upon her face and she cursed on the inside for letting her emotions through – normally she was really good at keeping them inside but just right now, around Perrie, it was like she was a completely different person.

 “Are you listening?” Perrie asked, snapping the purple haired girl out of her thoughts. She felt a little weird right now… She obviously had still feelings for Jade, which she had already admitted to herself, and seeing her like this, with her skirt so high and her body all wet, she shifted uncomfortably in her seats.

“Uh, sorry, I was thinking,” Jade admitted and adverted her gaze away from the streets to look at the blonde… she looked older somehow, more mature. She wondered if this all was adding pressure on the young girl… She knew Perrie was smart and had solved every case she had gotten so far, but this one… It was nagging on her nerves and it was pretty obvious. Jade wanted to help her, but she had no idea how.

“It’s okay,” Perrie smiled at her for a moment before she turned her attention back to the streets in front of them. The windscreen wiper squeaked every time it brushed across the window, from side to side in a steady pace as they drove down the lonely street… the streets were pretty empty for a big city like this. “I asked what hotel you were staying or where I should drop you off… like two times but you didn’t reply.”

Jade sighed again and nodded. “Yeah, sorry, again. Um, well, I’m staying in the ‘ _George and Dragon Hotel_ ’ in West Wycombe.”

Perrie nodded and they passed a green traffic light. It started to get a little awkward as none of them spoke for a while, so Perrie decided to turn on the radio. It was ‘My Heart Will Go On’ by Celin Dione and she hadn’t heard this in ages! It was an old song which had become popular when she was still a little girl, but she still loved it. She smiled a little and so she didn’t notice as Jade gripped onto the seat tightly, pressing her lips in a thin line together. Her hands started trembling but she wouldn’t let go off the seat, to keep herself still in her position. Her entire body was tense and she kept her gaze firm outside the window.

“Jade?” Perrie suddenly asked confused as she realized what has happening right next to her. “Are you okay?”

_“This is all your fault,” the man growled lowly and took another sip of his beer. His undershirt had some brown patches on it as he hadn’t taken care of the way he ate earlier and under his armpits were dry but yellow spots, showing he had sweated and not changed the shirt in a while. “If you had just been the way I wanted you to, everything would be fine.”_

_“I’m sorry,” the woman whimpered and tied her hair together as she collected the glass splitters from the floor. He had told her to let them where they were but after she had explained she was afraid one of the kids stepped onto them, he had told her to collect them all properly._

_“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he quoted her with a high and annoyed voice. “When will you learn to shut the fuck up when I’m talking to you? Did I tell you to speak? Because I don’t think I did.” He waited for her to reply but as she didn’t, he rolled his eyes annoyed, taking another sip of his beer. “Understood?”_

_“Yes,” she breathed out shakily. She was afraid to cry because the last time she had dared to cry in front of him… well, she only hoped he could keep them in this time._

_“Good. And now I want you to go upstairs and get ready for bed.”_

_She nodded, taking the rest of the glass splitters and walking out of the room. The little boy and girl, he was seven and she was four, sat there on the ground only a few metres away from them, pretending not to listen and playing with their toys. The boy looked up; his eyes teary as he met hers and they both only stared at each other for a few seconds, afraid to show emotions._

_“Karl,” the father demanded and the boy immediately jumped up to hurry over to the man in the seat._

_“Yes, daddy?” He asked quietly, afraid he could say something wrong._

_“Have you done your homework?”_

_“No, sir… not yet because I only got home from school half an hour ago and I just ate and wanted digest –” He was cut off as he fell onto his bum, feeling pulsating pain in his chin and on his right cheek. Tears shot up into his eyes and he heard his little sister whimper from afar but he bit his lip hard, trying not to cry from the pain._

_“And now you sit here, playing with your sister? Get in your room immediately and when I come to visit you in half an hour, you’re better done with it.” He growled angrily and got up after he had taken the last sip of his beer. He tossed it aside carelessly and walked up the stairs of the rented house they would spend this month in…_

_Jade immediately rushed over to her brother and whimpered in pain as she stepped onto a piece of glass. Nonetheless she kept walking until she was next to the boy on the floor. “Are you okay?” She asked whispering and forcing a smile he nodded,_

_“Yeah, Jadey. No need to worry about me. You know, I’m a big boy.” He stood up, rubbing his cheek exhausted. “I need to do my homework now, okay? Be careful.”_

_He kissed her on top of her head and walked up the stairs, just in time to hear his mother scream in pain. He pressed his hands to his ears and tried to block out the cries he could still hear muffled. “Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you…” He started to sing._


	8. A Moment of Weakness

Leigh’s hand roamed over her own blade, her shirt hanging low. Her back was facing the mirror and she looked back, examining the black spots on her tan skin. There was a clef and instead of notes, were butterflies. She liked her new tattoo but as she heard a knock on her door, she hurried to cover it with a jumper. “I’m coming!” She shouted and walked towards the door. She looked through the Judas hole on her door and a subconscious smile appeared on her face as she recognized the female standing out there.

Still with a smile on her face, she took aside and yanked open the door. “Come on in,” she smiled. “What are you doing here?” It took her until now that her partner wasn’t smiling brightly, like usual so her own smile dropped, slowly fading into a frown.

“I was just… I met Jade and… well.” She sighed and run her hands through her blonde hair, tugging some of it behind her ear so it was covering her eyesight. Leigh-Anne could see something was bothering her friend but she couldn’t figure out what it was. “Come, sit down,” she smiled and led her into the living room, where the blonde sat down. She told her to wait for a few seconds and hurried into the kitchen, making two cups of hot tea.

As she returned, tears were rolling down the blonde’s face.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Leigh-Anne asked worried and wiped away the tears. She loved Perrie so much and it hurt her inside her chest to see her like this. What could’ve happened between her and her old friend? And what was Jade doing in Wycombe anywhere?

Perrie took a deep breath, her hands clinging onto the cup in her hands. “Well, you remember her childhood? I was just driving here to visit you and then I met her and it was pouring and so I offered to give her a ride to her hotel. It became awkward because none of us said anything and then I turned on the radio and…” She sobbed quietly and hiccupped at the same moment, worrying Leigh even more. Perrie wasn’t a person to show her feelings openly so whatever has happened, it was affecting her loads.

“W-what’s happened, Pez?” She asked. Had they had a car crash? It was pretty late already and what if Jade had died and now Perrie blamed herself? Was Perrie okay? She looked okay but since Leigh’s feelings for the blonde were so strong that she cared more about her than about Jade right now.

“This song…  _My Heart Will Go On_ … She suddenly started crying and kicking and I had no idea what to do… She seemed to have some kind of panic attack or something and I couldn’t help her… I d-drove to the side… And… I don’t know what to do, Leigh-Anne.”

Although the black-haired girl didn’t really know why it was affecting Perrie so much, she wrapped her arms around her petite figure, embracing her. “Don’t worry,” she whispered and kissed her temple caringly. “She will be fine, I’m pretty sure of that.”

“You didn’t see her…” The younger girl replied dry with a shook of her head. “It was… the worst I have ever seen in my life. All the corpses we’ve seen so far were nothing in comparison.”

Leigh’s heart hurt a little at that. Why was the blonde  _so_  concerned about the girl, who was a complete stranger to her? She felt jealousy in her limbs and she bit her lip so she wouldn’t say anything she could regret but the feeling of jealousy didn’t leave her body. “Perrie… how close are you and Jade?” Leigh-Anne couldn’t help but ask that question and now that she felt like being only second in Perrie’s mind, she felt a little rejected and hurt. It may sound childish, but she was used to being in the spotlight of Perrie’s attention. Once you got something, you didn’t want it to be torn away from you again.

Perrie looked up at her friend, blinking confused. “Is it that obvious?” She asked whispering and Leigh held back a gasp. Tears stung in her eyes and she bit her lip.

“What’s obvious?” She pressed, trying to sound neutral and not like she had just slapped her in the face.

Perrie freed herself from Leigh’s arms, dusting herself off and straightening her position. She took a sip of the tea and sighed heavily, her gaze fixed on a random point on the floor. “That… that I have a crush on her… I always had…” She looked up, her blue eyes meeting Leigh-Anne’s. “I know, I should have told you that I like girls but… I was so afraid… that you could judge me…” Again there was a sob that escaped her lips. Now she couldn’t fight them anymore but she was still ashamed of the tears so she pulled her knees to her chest and rested her arms and heads on top of her knees.

“Never,” Leigh-Anne muttered but she couldn’t move. All the time… before Jade had crossed Perrie’s way  _again_ , she could have done something. She could have told Perrie how much she actually liked her and in some way it could have worked out. They could have worked out together… they could be happy now, without Jade standing between them. She wiped her eyes as she felt tears in her eyes again and forced a smile as she shifted closer towards her friend, wrapping her arms around her. “Come on, Pezza. I love you, you know that?”

Perrie looked up, wiping her eyes. Slightly, she nodded and returned the hug tightly. “And I love you too… thank you so much for accepting me the way I am.”

The dark haired girl only smiled and nodded. She felt like it wasn’t the right time to announce her own sexuality so she swallowed it, treasuring it for another while. One day she could get the chance…

…

**_From: Perrie_ **

**_Msg.: hey, how’re u feelin?_ **

Jade let her head fall back against the pillow again and rubbed her temples. Her head was pounding, which might have been the reason why she woke up, and her vision was a little blurry. She felt so hung over… Had she drunk something yesterday? She couldn’t remember.

She felt the urge to call Perrie to come over and help her with her headache but before she could even unlock her phone again, she froze in her movements. What was she about to do? Had she gone  _crazy_? She was trying to ignore her and block her out of her life, for god’s sake and now she was about to call her for  _help_  so she could see Jade vulnerable. Yes, she had definitely gone nuts.

Even though… she still didn’t understand why she was trying so hard not to let Perrie in.

Shaking her head, she put down the phone again and swung her legs over the bed, pushing away the duvets. She ran a hand over her face, rubbing her sore muscles to get some life into them. Her head was still pounding heavily and now that she had sat up, she also felt like  _throwing_  up. Slowly, she got up from her bed and stumbled into her bedroom. She hadn’t left Wycombe as planned and she also wasn’t sure anymore what exactly had happened last night… One second she was sitting in awkward silence with Perrie and in the next second she had found herself in foetal position on her bed with Perrie’s arms around her… If she was being perfectly frank, she didn’t even remember how she got into that damn car.

Her cheeks flushed red at that thought. What was she getting herself into? She wasn’t allowed to like Perrie. She seriously needed to get that girl out of her life like right now. But the urge to call her and ask her for help… it was all too overwhelming for her right now. She wanted to be assured that everything was going to be alright and she hated the thought of being the vulnerable one.

Sighing, she wiped her eyes.

“Weak. That’s what you are right now. So weak, for letting your emotions show through! I told you that showing emotions always ended up badly, brutal even!” The voice in her head shouted at her, and she pressed her hands to her ears to suppress the screaming ringing in her ears.

She ran around the apartment, singing a random song, and after a while the shouting stopped and she managed to take a deep breath again.

Her phone lay right next to her and she quickly typed a message to her brother.

**_From: Jade_ **

**_Msg.: hey, haven’t talked to you in a while? how r u? miss u xox_ **

She felt a little awkward after she had sent it but there was no turning back anyway. Maybe she could visit him again; him, his wife and their little daughter. She had to admit she hardly remembered the name of the baby, since she had only seen her on photos yet. It was a shame…

**_From: Karl_ **

**_Msg.: im doing fine, wby? yeah, miss you too :) gonna visit us someday this week? you still havent met little amelia and your her favourite aunt_ **

Jade let out a heavy sigh and a sob at the same time – although the baby wasn’t called Jade, he had obviously named her after his sister. It was cute of him to call her Amelia’s favourite aunt when she was the only one the girl had since Jade knew for a matter of fact that Hannah, his wife, only had two brothers. She replied she would like to visit him on Saturday, which meant she had four days to visit him back in South Shields – he had never moved away from there.

He was constantly worried about her. He knew she knew better than falling for some idiots, like their mum did, but he couldn’t help to think that she might make a mistake too. You know, after the motto “Like mother, like daughter”. And he had no idea what the hell she was doing when she travelled through the entire country because once he had asked her and she had told him it was none of his business. Of course he still wondered, but he knew his sister enough to not ask her about it again. He loved her and he hated seeing her sad or angry. He was simply… worried. After all, he was the big brother and always felt like he had to protect her from everything.

Jade’s phone buzzed again as she just wanted to brush her teeth and she looked down at it, sighing heavily,

**_From: Perrie_ **

**_Msg.: please msg me when you’re awake, i dont wanna worry about you…thnx and if u need anything, just gimme a call or text me_ **

Again she ran her hand across her face. Why was everything so complicated? Keeping away from Perrie hurt her badly and it was ridiculous why so. She had never felt this way about anyone, not even about Perrie when they were younger and it was all just too  _confusing_. Why couldn’t she just be normal and live her life? In another universe she could probably tell the blonde about her feelings. In another universe, where she still had a mother and a father, who would support her and defend her when she was a little girl and her brother was too young to defend her. Why did she have to live through all of this and why did she have to rethink it all now? Her life had been fine before she had met Perrie again in this stupid supermarket in London.

She was so fucking tired of resistance. All she wanted, was to be happy.

“NO!” The voice shouted again. She had to be strong. Their friendship could never work out… let alone a relationship, to say if Jade knew how Perrie was thinking of her. She felt bad for ignoring Perrie again, but she needed to cut it  _now_. A compound fracture. If she kept this on now, she would not only hurt herself badly but also Perrie.

She needed to move, leaving Perrie behind her.

And she needed to do it now.


	9. Exposed

“Perrie, please,” Leigh-Anne sighed. “You need to forget her, seriously. I doubt anything has happened to her. She doesn’t deserve you.”

Perrie didn’t look up and only sighed heavily. “Y-you… you keep telling me that. But why doesn’t she answer then? There’s no reason for her  _not_  to answer… Apart from the fact that she hates me although I have…” She sobbed almost inaudible and covered her mouth with her hands. Why was she so affected by this? She wasn’t supposed to be so weak… She wasn’t supposed to be crying over someone. “I just… I just don’t know what I did to make her hate me.”

Now Leigh was done – she couldn’t watch her like this anymore and the anger she felt towards Jade at this very moment threatened to boil over. “Perrie, stop,” she demanded and kneeled next to the blonde. “Sorry but I need to say that now – she is a bitch and she does not and  _never_  did deserve you. You are such a wonderful person and everyone would be happy to be loved by you. She is… horrible. I know it wasn’t you who decided to fall in love with her but if you let me… if you let me…” She gulped hardly, not looking into Perrie’s eyes. “If you let me, Perrie, I would… I would try to make you forget her.” Now she raised her gaze to meet a pair of piercing blue eyes.

Surprised, the younger girl looked at her with an opened mouth. “Leigh… W-what do you mean?”

“I love you,” Leigh-Anne murmured quietly. “If you gave me the chance, I’d prove you that you deserve better than her.”

“We can’t,” Perrie said with a shake of her head, slowly pushing her friend away. “No, Leigh-Anne, you can’t do that.”

The black haired girl frowned and sucked in her lower lip, slightly biting down on it. She knew what Perrie was talking about but the way she said it hurt her more than she had ever expected. “Please, give me a chance, Perrie, no-one would need to know. I know we’re not allowed but for you I would go to… I don’t know… even Scotland or Wales or Ireland.”

“What do you expect me to do now?” Perrie asked, wiping her eyes and smearing some black streams down her cheek.”I… god, Leigh-Anne!”

“Please,” the black haired girl whimpered. “I probably should’ve told you earlier, I know, but seeing you like this… you have no idea how hurtful this is… and all because of her! I would never hurt you like that and you know that. I never let you hanging. Remember this one time, when we were America? Remember the junkies that… god, Perrie. I would do everything to protect you.”

“That is the problem, Leigh-Anne,” the blonde sighed, rubbing her left temple and looking at her own feet. “This is exactly why we are not allowed to be together… Let’s say… I agreed on… being with you in this way, we could be in so much danger as soon as I actually fall for you. It already is. I know you can’t control that but you need to leave, you know that? We can’t be together as long as you’re here and also do I not know if I can do this.” She looked so hurt and the black haired girl felt like it was all her fault. Her stomach hurt with all the guilt she felt inside her guts and she wanted to rewind, making it unsaid. She knew Perrie was right, but she couldn’t leave… not when the blonde girl was like this.

“I’m sorry,” Leigh muttered and shook her head. “Can we… can’t we just forget it? I know, I shouldn’t like you this way but why are siblings allowed to work together? There is a bound of love between them too. It’s just… so unfair. I won’t mention it ever again, so please just… drop it. I don’t want to leave. You’re not only an incredible person, you’re also the best police officer I’ve worked with so far. You’re the only one I can trust. We can’t just throw that away.”

For a few seconds Perrie’s eyes were focused on the phone next to her. It was her job to get Leigh-Anne fired although you couldn’t really call it ‘fired’ – she’d just leave her station and go to another town, far away from her. But a voice inside her head told her not to do it. She wished so badly she could do it but after all… was it Leigh-Anne, her best friend and saviour. She sighed, dropping her hand, which she had held in midair, and looked over at her friend.

“Leigh, I’m sorry,” she breathed out and the black haired nodded understandingly. “I… I won’t tell them but I can’t… I wish I could, but I just can’t return your feelings. It’s always been Jade and I suppose it’ll always  _be_  Jade. I loved her since we were in school but I was too afraid to talk to her.”

“That’s more then I could have wished for,” Leigh sighed heavily. She had seen the eyes of Perrie and she had been sure she would call up their boss and make her go to another town so this really was more than she could’ve asked for. She didn’t want to leave Perrie – she felt obligated to protect the younger girl.

“I love you,” Perrie sighed and suddenly her arms were around the black haired girl. “And I wish it was enough…” She nestled her face into the crook of her neck and slowly, Leigh-Anne raised her arms around the petit girl to hold her close.

“I love you too,” she replied. “And I wish it was less.”

…

“I’m sorry, I guess I’m annoying you.”

“Seriously, stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop acting like this around me. I’m still the same person. It’s not like I’d jump you any second or start crying my heart out because you don’t feel the way about me I would want you to. You don’t need to treat me like a porcelain doll.” She bit her lower lip and folded her arms across her chest. They’d just been working on their case but whenever Leigh suggested a stupid idea, Perrie told her no but she didn’t actually say no… was she suddenly afraid of that word?

“I’m sorry,” the blonde muttered.

Leigh rubbed her temples and shook her head. “Don’t apologize, just… treat me like a normal partner, okay? By the way, why don’t you suggest anything? All you’ve been doing was looking through the information about the dead people since we’re here.”

Being back to her job-self, Perrie put away the folder in her hand and leant back in her chair. “I feel like we forgot something. I can feel like it’s right there in front of us…” She sighed and got up from her chair, needing some moving. “I feel… like we forgot an important detail. I know we’re  _that_  close to finally get him or her. It’s just a matter of time.”

“Do you have any idea what we forgot?”

“What do you think why I’m looking through their information?” Perrie asked, turning around. “Could you do me a favour and call Jesy? In my eyes she counts as a witness and I want to ask her some questions…”

Leigh nodded, getting up from her chair and leaving the room. As soon as the door snapped closed, the blonde got out her phone to check if she’d gotten any text messages. She had tried it with Jade again but there hadn’t been a response. She was really close to give her a call but she didn’t want Leigh-Anne to see it.

That moment the door opened and a confused looking black haired girl entered, followed by… Jesy. Or what seemed to be Jesy. Her dress was cut open at her legs as if someone had tried to peel her out of it, her hair was a complete mess and black streams were smeared all around her eyes and down her cheeks. “What the hell!” Perrie gasped and rushed over to her, offering her to sit down in the chair Leigh-Anne had sat previously.

“That was fast,” she muttered towards her partner who just shrugged.

“I was on my way to get my phone when she suddenly stood in front of me. She didn’t speak to me, so I figured she wanted to see you? I’ll leave you two alone. Call me, when you need anything, yeh?” She was tempted to kiss her friend on the cheek like they often did when they parted but she felt like this time it would be an inappropriate move so she just nodded slightly and stepped away, out of the room.

“Jesy, what has happened to you?”

For a few minutes there was complete silence and Perrie already wondered, if it – whatever ‘it’ was – left her literally speechless. She had heard already that you could get mute because of shock but never had she witnessed it ever. Jesy’s eyes seemed dull and less bubbly than when they had met before. Her shiny red hair was covered in mud and drops, probably from the rain. There were bleeding scars on her arms and so the blonde took the silence as an opportunity to get some bandages.

She quickly hurried to get the First Aid kit and then she hurried to clean all of Jesy’s wounds – well, at least those she could see. Here and there were livid spots and Perrie could only imagine the pain in the older girl’s body. At some places only a plaster was needed whereas other wounds needed bandages and even a compression bandage because she didn’t stop bleeding.

It was quiet in the room and Perrie began to feel slightly uncomfortable. How could she motivate the older girl to speak? “Do you want some tea?” She asked kindly to which Jesy shook her head. She seriously had no idea what on earth she was supposed to do about this entire situation because she had never had a person in shock sitting in front of her without a psychiatrist by her side.”Jesy, I understand you’re in shock but I need you to tell me what has happened to you… please.” She asked her with pleading eyes and it took Jesy another minute to raise her gaze to meet Perrie’s pair of blue eyes. It stayed silent until Jesy nodded and Perrie immediately went on her knees, clinging onto Jesy’s hand and squeezing it tightly to assure her everything was alright.”

 “I know who it is, Perrie,” she said with a raspy voice, completely unfamiliar to what Perrie remembered. She didn’t really understand what Jesy was talking about and the red haired girl must’ve realized because her eyes dropped onto the floor as a choke came across her lips. She quickly wiped her eyes, smearing mud and mascara over her face. “I know who kills all these man and I know why they do it.” 


End file.
